Talk:The Walk
Review (3/5)- First of all, I want to thank the author for reading and requesting my review. Oh well, let's get down to business, shall we? This pasta is an alright read, but it wasn't the common things that threw me off. It was how vague and mysterious it was. I didn't get most of it, and I must apologize, but I felt as if the story just didn't come together. It just seemed like one turn after another, with no real emotion or story in play. I didn't spot many grammar conflicts, and the story it's self was quite long. If it wasn't for the maze of a story, I would have liked it. You can take the review as good in the sense of the common errors that I usually bite at, but at the same time, the story needs to be, well, more clear. Actually, I'm pretty lost of words when it comes to the story, I'm not sure how to describe how I feel about it. I guess I can just leave my review, and you can infer, eh? I think I'll give this pasta a 3/5. It was well written as far as common error goes, but when it comes to story, it was too vague and odd to comprehend fully. Dburch111 (talk) 01:09, October 30, 2012 (UTC)Dburch111 Thanks for the review. I was jst trying to convey that this guy lost his shit and beat his woman to death. I was trying to subtly hint at something terrible and major. I will work on making it a bit more clear in the future if I try to write a story like this again. Denalicain (talk) 01:13, October 30, 2012 (UTC) I get this story, I get it. I, like, get it. But I don't get it. It was all leading up to something creepy, something really supernatural, but instead it was all just a hallucination. It could use a sequel, if you ask me. ''That ''I would really get. 41488p (talk) 10:14, October 30, 2012 (UTC) The Requested Review You asked me to review this on my iGoogle account. I deliver. But anyway, this was a very good read, especially in comparison to most of our recent additions to the website which, admittedly, I'm not so thrilled with. This was a little bit misleading, however, as at the beginning, it seemed as though something supernatural was occuring, only to end in a way that made it sound like the character was simply drunk. I think what threw me off so much was the whole thing with the window. But anyway, I don't usually score with numbers and I'm not about to do it, now. If this is your first try, I commend your efforts. The ending was certainly unexpected. Clarifying a few things may be a good thing to focus on. Shinigami.Eyes (talk) 02:30, November 3, 2012 (UTC) Thank you for the review. I wrote another one, and even though it is shorter, I believe it is much less ambiguous as this one, and I believe I got the main theme across more clearer. I appreciate your criticism. Denalicain (talk) 05:17, November 5, 2012 (UTC) Requested Review Sorry, I'm not really experienced with critiques or reviews... (7/10) - I agree with most of what old lady Shini up there said. In fact, I think this is the best thing I've seen added this month. It's definetely an enjoyable read, and I think very few people will be disappointed by it; however, it isn't particularly creepy or unnerving. What I liked the most about this read was how you were able to build up a feeling of curiousity in the first half of the story. Here's a hint: Writing specific numbers (f.i. stood there for 15 minutes) makes everything seem much less real, and takes the mind off the story. Try something more abstract (f.i. In the time it could've taken me to run back home, ) -- Evra the Kid (talk) 03:11, November 14, 2012 (UTC)